A Week of Gifts and Grace (10/31/2010)

Wow!  What a week it has been for us as Mary Beth has been home with us for 10 days now. The best way to wrap it up is in His Grace and the gifts received – both of which continue to blow us away.

You have to love that smile!

I have shared with many how Mary Beth has just adopted our home, our extended family, the family practices in our home, and our friends so willingly.  Honestly I still do not understand how she can be so loving and friendly with others here, as we have taken her from EVERYTHING that was familiar to her.  We know that at 4 ½ years old, Mary Beth is bright enough and well aware of all that is going on.  So it is not like she is going to wake up one day and realize that things seem a little different all of a sudden.  She is “in the here and now” in her mind and in her spirit.  We know that we prayed daily for seeds of favor to be placed in her heart for our family before we met her.  We assumed that those seeds would only reach the five of us in the family that was going to meet her.  (We also assumed that she would have seen our faces in the picture that we sent to her…..that she never received.)  But as we have seen the way in which she has reacted so favorably to so many strangers, we realize that our Father’s hand was far-reaching beyond what we expected…..as He usually does.

Last weekend was a little rough as we were still trying to get used to our regular time schedules, and we had a very hard time staying awake when needed.  The Friday night after we arrived back was the first time I had ever fallen asleep at a traffic light after leaving work.  The quick dream was what woke me up in time to see the green light telling me it was time to get moving.  Jenn’s brother and family came up to meet Mary Beth that weekend, and it was incredible to see her immediate interaction with her new cousins in the family. It was like she had always known them, and they played for hours that Saturday afternoon.

My first haircut in the USA

After we spent time over the weekend trying to get our bearings, reality hit Monday morning when all the familiar faces jumped in Jenn’s truck early to head to school…..and all she had to look at was me.  She cried for 30 minutes after they left, as it seemed like her world was rocked again.  This was the first time since October 11^th that she was not with all the kids, and she did not like it one bit.  So after sitting with her to get her calmed down, she realized this was the situation for the day, and she commenced with her day in true form. 

The plan for these first two days was that it was going to be “Daddy Boot Camp”, so I could get started teaching her letters, numbers, colors, family requirements, her role in the family, etc, etc, etc….   So as we started working on flash cards and crayon boxes, it started to hit me that she was FOUR YEARS OLD!!!  A lightning bolt hit me to help me realize that I did not need to expect her to learn all of these things in two days, much less expect her to master all of these tasks when so many other 4 year olds may not have some of these down pat yet.  So I quickly laid off after a little bit, and we enjoyed getting to know each other much better over this rare time in our lives that I may not get back.  These two days were totally awesome, and I would not have traded them for anything that the world may deem important.   I am blessed that I was able to spend this time with Mary Beth, and I hope that this grew our relationship as well. 

Actually we did get pretty close this past week, and I hope I was able to lay a strong foundation of what she was to expect in a daddy that is going to be firm and loving…..and not going anywhere.  My concern with our relationship is that she might relate me back to someone in her past that may have been a “baba” (daddy) in her life that was not very positive.  I do not know who the last person she saw in her life that she knew as she stood at the gates of the orphanage.  My fear is that if it was her biological dad or mom, will she have negative feelings towards us as well?  There is nothing we can do about that, but pray that we can maintain stability in her life going forward and present to her the Father’s love in her parents and family.    Praise Him that His grace is abundant for matters such as “abandonment”, and He can cover that easily!

I will show them that I can swing....

I eventually had to get back to the real world on Wednesday and head back to work.  After Mary Beth willingly hopped into my mom’s arms last Saturday at Luke’s flag football game, she looked back at me to let me know that she would gladly keep her all week!  I reminded mom (Nana) this week that her first words to us 3 ½ years ago when we dropped the “adoption bomb” on them was that she was not getting any younger.  When she and dad dropped her by my office Thursday evening, it was the youngest I had seen my parents in years!  I told Jenn they were loving life and enjoying the “youth” that Mary Beth showed them that day. 

Each day I left Mary Beth at their house started out with much crying as I left their house.  But each day also decreased in the volume and velocity, as she grew closer to them.   But as I drove off that second day from their house, it hit me to wonder why wouldn’t she cry?  Over the past year, she has been abandoned and lied to as people walk away from her.  (We experienced it with people she knew in China as she saw them for the last time.)  In her mind, why would we be any different to her???  I know that these next few weeks will still have some of the emotional aspects when we leave her at certain places.  However, we pray that she will eventually understand that she can completely trust us and know that we will not be leaving her.

Mom and Dad – Kudos to you in not letting a language barrier keep you from taking on the task of keeping Mary Beth this past week.  I know it was ominous to take on that task, but you never backed down, and you never let it hinder your time together.  Thank you for your days and your strength (as we have found out she requires much of both)!

Jennifer also started back to work full time this week, and she was chomping at the bit to get back to her students that she loves dearly.  She was walking back into some huge tasks as she returned, as she had missed the parent conferences the week before when all the report cards were provided to parents.  So this week has been spent getting all the last grades recorded, written on report cards, and scheduling and meeting with parents to get the first quarter closed out.  She was so tired all week…..yet NEVER complaining (she never complains!!!!!)  about any second of it.  Actually she fell asleep at the kitchen table two nights this week.  So please pray for her strength to get through these next few weeks as she get herself caught up in class and that the kids and I will handle all of the tasks of the home with grace and keep her out of the mix of these items.

Since I am traveling from Franklin to Murfreesboro for work, I had the opportunity to take Mary Beth each day to my parents.  Talk about wondering how to handle that 1 ½ hours each day in the car with someone that does not understand you was a little fearful to me.  I am one that likes to engage with my children while we are in the car, as I cannot stand to just sit there and not talk to them when it is just us.  But what was I going to talk about when Mary Beth only knew a few words.  However, grace abounded again, as He opened up the doors for us to go over so many things during this cool time together.   One of the neatest things we have done is listen to some music together to help her English.  We found a CD that Devin had from years ago from Bible Drill that has three songs on it that are all going over the books of the Bible.  After three days of listening to these over and over (and over…..), she is finally grasping the names and starting to sing them!  What better books could she be learning at this time?!?!  So now whenever we are in any vehicle, she wants that CD in, and she is getting our other children re-interested in it, as she entertains them with the hand signals and “car-seat-dance-moves” that she and I have created for the songs.   Her favorite names of books to sing right now are Joshua and Nehemiah.  (Some of those Old Testament books are hard to say….)

One of the last acts of grace shown to us came on Friday afternoon as I was leaving the office with Mary Beth.  As I was leaving the office with Mary Beth, I stopped back in to introduce her to one last person and parked in the front of the building quickly.  After getting back in the car, I started to back up, then realized that I did not have Mary Beth’s backpack with me to work on some things on the way home.  So instead of taking all the required steps of pulling back up and putting the car in Park before hopping out of the car, I skipped the last step.  I hopped out of the car without putting the car in Park.  Before I could get back in to step on the brake, the car pulled forward, popped over the sidewalk and right into the wall of the building.  It actually hit right below the window of the office of one of our vice presidents.  I just sat there stunned at the bonehead move I had just made.  To say the least, I made quite a racket inside the office.  Oddly enough, my car just suffered a scratched-up front bumper.  But the building and window were not that lucky.  Fortunately, I work for some gracious folks that realize that brick and mortar can be repaired, and they were glad that no one was hurt.  Mary Beth did not even realize what had happened.  But I did, and it has haunted me all weekend thinking that I could have done that same thing without having a non-moving wall in front of me.  Hopefully this little stunt will help me to slow down and take the time to take all necessary precautions when stopping my vehicle in the future.  Not one of my brighter moments in life…..  But i was provided grace in so many ways during this accident. It could have been much worse.

I also want to let anyone and everyone know that Jennifer and I truly cannot thank you enough for the continued gifts of prayers and other needs you are meeting for our family during this adventure.  From the many clothes that were donated to Mary Beth before she arrived home, for the incredible meals that have been provided by neighbors and families from Jennifer’s 2^nd grade class at school, and the monetary gifts that have complete blown us away, we do not have words to offer to you for the gratitude due to you.  Mary Beth has been completely dressed in donated clothes pretty much every day we have had her (and in very nice clothes too!).  Jenn and I are starting to gain back the weight we lost in China with all of the meals that her class families are providing nightly.  The food has been incredible, and we are grateful for the time spent to keep us out of the kitchen as we get back to our regular schedule.  And I have been amazed at the monetary gifts we have received, even during this week.  Some of the gifts we know where they have come from, and we can thank those who have given.  However, there continue to be gifts provided to us from anonymous sources.  We would like to thank those who have provided for us as such.  However, we understand that these gifts were given anonymously for a reason, and we at least hope that those who have provided understand what a need they have met in our journey.  So we want to thank EVERYONE who has helped us get through this incredible pilgrimage graciously. 

Personally, I am not a great gift-giver.  In turn, I am also not a great receiver of gifts either, as I do not always handle receiving undeserved gifts well like all that we are receiving now.  However, it is open hearts such as these that is opening my heart to be a more willing giver of gifts when needed.

On June 2, 2009, our Father revealed a verse to me that struck me where it needed as Jenn and I were struggling with some major financial decisions during that period of time.  Psalm 104:27 states, “These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time.”  (This same passage is repeated by David in Psalm 145:15.)  I had just prayed for guidance along these matters earlier that morning, and Psalm 104 was the passage I was studying that morning.  I knew that “food” was not what we were praying over.  However, it reminds me that when we pray for our Father to “provide us our daily bread” in the Lord’s Prayer, He is looking to provide for us in ways that He understands and desires.  He always provides what we need…..yet we seem to doubt Him so often and not give these matters over to Him.

All in all, we could not have asked for a better first week with Mary Beth at home.  When people have asked how it was going, I have been without words for the most part, since I really cannot explain it.  I guess that is why our Father just wants us to say “WOW!” when we see Him at work, because words just cannot explain why He does what He does for us.

Soaking in His abundant, never-ending Grace!