On Our Way to WeiWei: He sets the lonely in families.... (11/7/2010)

Psalm 68:5-6:

“A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His Holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, …..”

I searched the Book for verses that related to the fatherless two Monday nights ago, and I found this one that I was searching for. But after finding it, I wanted to see what the before and after verses stated, and how they related to verse 5. When I read the first part of verse 6, where it claims that He “sets the lonely (solitary) in families”, I stopped. Something about that statement hit me with what we had experienced with Mary Beth those first few days of being home. So I thought I would chew on this verse for a while and observe things over the next week and see exactly how this verse related to our newest daughter. After the first week, our Father confirmed so many answers for me in our experience. However, it was after 12:30 in the morning when I completed my last journal, and I could not muster the energy to express my thoughts. So I prayed that He would continue to provide more answers and confirmation for me this past week. And as usual, He showed up in so many ways. I cannot wait to journal them.

It still blows me away how Mary Beth can be who she is and how she shows her love towards us (and sometimes perfect strangers) when she sees us. I continue to express that to friends and family when asked how things are going. Many times I get the same response of “Oh she’s so young, she can bounce back and she’ll be fine.” Externally I smile in agreement. But deep down inside, I know that if I – or even my own kids – were placed in her position over this past year, that we would not have her same heart for others. If I had been abandoned by everyone I had known in my first few years of life, I would be bitter, selfish, untrusting of anyone that tried to get near and carry baggage with me that no one could touch. (Many that know me might think that of me now…..and can agree with this statement. J) But Mary Beth shows none of that yet.

Once we broke through the thin wall of her interior the first couple of days of knowing her, we have seen some amazing things in her. As long as she is in a comfortable situation, she is happy, free-spirited and ready to love on anyone that comes in front of her. She has blown more good-bye kisses to friends and family than we can count. She tells people “I love you!” as she leaves their presence, most of the time not knowing she may never see them again. She willingly relinquishes anything that is not hers to give to someone else. (But when something is hers, we have seen that she is very particular with her things. If she gets something out to use or play with, she immediately places it back where it belongs, so she knows where to grab it the next time. Our family is learning from these habits…..)

All in all, I still stand in amazement at her heart. Was she really lonely when she was fatherless? Was she “fatherless” when she was with her family? Why is her heart like this??? I mean, I would like to think that she has learned how to have all this joy in this short span of time in our family and everything. I know we have had to add a little joy to her heart. But there is something in her that shows her heart has been this way for a long, long time – way before we met her. One night last week, I was giving her a shower before everyone got home (to get ahead of the rush), and I just sat back and watched her in the shower. She was covered with soap and conditioner, water running all over her head and body, and she just sang and danced like she was all alone. I had to chuckle and yell out loud “Who are you??? How are you like you are??? I don’t understand you!!!!” I was simply met with a big soapy smile and her sweet laugh. My eyes grew moist, and I just realized (like everyone else has) that she is just a sweet little girl looking to be loved……yet knowing how to love already. Hopefully we can nurture her love and heart for others, as well as for her Father someday. We want her to know that He was a Father to her when she was fatherless, and that she will know Him as her Father someday in our home.

I waited for two weeks for our Father to give me some sort of evidence that this verse was something special for us. We had the fortunate blessing of being invited to the annual Show Hope dinner last night (and still trying to figure out how that invitation made it to our mailbox). Jenn’s parents happily volunteered to drive to Franklin so we could attend. I just knew that my prayers for confirmation would be answered at this very special event. And of course it did not take long for those prayers to be answered. The first family video that was presented of a family that had been supported in their adoption efforts by Show Hope brought this verse up in their testimony. If He had not shown this verse to me two weeks ago, it would have skirted right past me, and I would not have received the blessing that David (the psalmist) spoke of in this prayer. Of course it was that testimony that sparked an amazing event for the night.

This dinner was very special to us in that we were now “in the family” of adoptive parents. We were now able to experience this dinner as those who have been down the road…..like a 3+ year pregnancy…..and finally received our child to share His testimony with others. Not everyone there was an adoptive parent. But everyone has a heart for honoring the words of James in James 1:27, as people were there to show support specifically to decrease the number of orphans in this world – one at a time. As I sat there at the dinner, so many feeling ran through me, and I fought back tears all night long. Finally at the end, Steven Curtis Chapman sang his song “Yours” (on our playlist) and the tears started to flow. Our Mary Beth is His – no matter where she was or where she is!! If we would realize that all 140 million orphans across the world are all God’s children, we would understand that He is still their Father, and He has commanded us to take care of them – through any means necessary. We do not all have to adopt them, as not everyone is called to adopt. But we are to pray for His wisdom to understand what our role is in decreasing the growing number of orphans daily. Our Father is a “father to the fatherless”, and He desires them into His family one day. Chances of that happening in an orphanage where His Word is not taught or lived out are very slim. Focusing our hearts on Heaven and not in this world will align our hearts with His to care for these little ones.

Some other cool conversations and reactions have been confirming His promise this week. A family that we have gotten to know this past year at church informed me today that they are now starting to talk about adoption. A good friend at work informed me this week that her heart is being tugged to discuss adoption in their family. And a couple of friends that Jenn has become close to in school are also broaching the topic of adoption as an option. YES!!! His Word will not return void! I am not saying that our experience has any direct correlation on these topics for these particular families, as adoption has grown in this area for a long time. But even if we played a small part in the tugging on the hearts with these families, it reminded me today of the verse in “The Desert Song” by Hillsong United that I have been praying through since this summer – “This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow. I know I’m filled to be emptied again; the seed I received, I will sow.” If we come back from China and do not share His message of hope for this little girl – sowing the seed during a season of harvest – when will we obey and complete the work He has called us to do? So if Mary Beth has been given this heart for life and for others, so that we can have the faith to share her experience, we are to be faithful in His work and share His message to reach beyond what we can even fathom. I need to continue to realize that this process is not about me, Mary Beth or what our family can do for this little girl. All of this is about our Father and His message. He qualifies those that are called to do His service.

One last thing……. Today is Adoption and Orphan Sunday (11/7/10) where churches and family organizations will focus services and events on the need of caring for orphans across the world. Today also represents exactly 13 months ago that this little girl was abandoned by the possible only family that she knew at the gates of the orphanage in the Fuling district in middle-China. Today, Mary Beth experienced this special day of recognition not as an orphan any longer, but as one who was adopted into a family that truly loves her for who she was created to be! Praise Father God Almighty that He planted a seed in our hearts over four years ago to work towards bringing a new daughter someday, and He already had this little beauty planned for our family. We had absolutely nothing to do with it, but follow his direction. He orchestrated all the steps for us…..as He does so faithfully when He calls us to follow.

When we moved towards the route of adopting a special needs child in January of this year, we wanted to see if there was a possibility of us helping out a child that the world considered unadoptable. What we did not realize that instead of realizing the blessing of adopting a child with special needs was that our Father knew that we were the one with the special need to have this little girl in our home.